my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
seeing that it's my 21st and everything, and everyone's suppose to be hoohaawahoo about it, i've decided to blog again. gawd i just can't get the sarcasm out of me, can i?
anyways, i am really thankful all the stuff that everyone's got me and if i have not said thank you yet, here i am expressing my gratitude and appreciation for everything.
THANK YOU FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES :)
facebook pics are up, so stop saying that i take forever to upload photos.
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11:09 PM;
Saturday, June 24, 2006
God above, You hold my world
I see in You, My life unfold
Your face that shines
This path of mine
With You i'll walk,
My friend and guide
Oh, what can i do to seal
This union i have with You?
You are the God who will save
Cling on to all that you say
And for always
You, covered my life with Your grace
Darkness You've turned into day
When You gave Your all away
truly, you find God in your circumstances. i'm beginning to find His peace that surpasses all understanding. even before anything happens, i just know that He is the God that will save :)
I WANNA GO TO CHURCH TONIGHT LA.
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2:46 AM;
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i think i need a new ipod. there's simply NOT ENOUGH SPACE for my songgggss. ogay that was deliberate, not my typical unstoppable-finger syndrome.
anyhoos, YANIBUNNY I AM ABSOLUTELY SORRY BUT WE HAVE LIT LECT ON SAT EH? :D
besides this being an entry with no direction at all, i would like to establish the fact that i am feeling something that's at least close to 'happy' and that's something i haven't felt for a long time now. thank God for everything :) HWEI YOU ARE MY SAVIOUR in a non-Jesus manner heh.
in light of hwei's very thankful entry, i have to add that i totally agree with her on that. we are a bunch of blessed people and perhaps, fine not perhaps, definitely life itself is a gift from the Almighty that we have to be grateful for everyday.
i wanna buy so many books! but given the fact that i have a tonne and exponentially increasing pile of readings, i don't think its very wise to head to kino now. well i could, jes that i stand the chance of meandering into the depths of my bookcase instead of hibernating under the pile on my table. well, there's always the option of leaving them to rot till the mid yrs are over, but NAH i shan't take my chances.
well, compared to last year, i am definitely more composed than i was for the mid years. that is not to say that i am in any way more prepared than i was then. i guess i'm jes more lackadaisical about exams now. the whole 'its jes the mid years' thingy is getting to me, and i'm telling ya it is NOT GOOD. nopey nope no, not at all.
ogay so in lieu of my preparations for the exams, i have wasted about half an hour online and my sensitive cranium is yelling for me to get off this thing. i think its about to crack soon, so in the words of heidi klum,
Auf Wiedersehen!
p.s. joga bonita! PLEASE SUPPORT MY DEAR RONALDO AND RONALDHINO!
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9:32 AM;
Sunday, June 11, 2006
moooooove over dunkin donuts, and make way for the krispykreme! :D:D:D after two weeks of anticipation, jon chua FINALLY brought my donuts! and he didn't disappoint alright. he bought 3 boxes for church ogay! and one box is specially for ME. all mine, me, mine, myself, moi, :D
FIVE I CONSUMED ON MY OWN.
and those were not even from my box. i walloped them in church. that means that whole box above is still 'intact' and to be consumed over the next week. i am officially crowned the donut queen. JON YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND FROM NOW ON. HAHA.
to complete this trigger happy entry, i shall let you guys peek at my timmy and gabriel <3<3
my gabby baby whose squeaks literally pierce the silence of the night. don't you think his fur is simply divine?
and my good ol' timmy boy that looks kinda scared here ha ha.
oh gosh, I LOVE MY DOGS.
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2:09 AM;
Saturday, June 10, 2006
did you know that:
1. the usa spends $10 million on porn, the same amount they spend on foreign aid.
2. i think mahathir is entertaining. hurhur. go read today's papers man.
3. the average japanese woman is expected to live till 83, while the botswanan woman, 32.
4. the usa owes the un a debt of about 1 billion.
ha ha well interesting facts (besides no.2) that might change your perception of the world? i think no. 1 is jes so telling. althought i think singapore might jes be on her way there. after watching get real last night, i can't believe some men are jes so shameless to ask for 13 year old prostitutes. it really shouldn't be called get real, more like, get a life.
mathmathmath. i loooove yoooou.
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6:29 AM;
Thursday, June 08, 2006
after watching city harvest's emerge conference online, i REALLY cannot hold back what i have to say. hello? the worship team looks like they stepped out of a rock concert? i mean ogay fine one or two is fine, if that's your personal style then no one can really blame you. but the WHOLE team? it's like all the previous services you're decked out in jackets and at least, decent clothes. and then now they're dressed in pseudo-rocker clothes. it's laughable, really. no offence, i have nothing against city harvest, but it's sooooo coordinated when the entire team (even ps kong hee mind you) looks like metellica or something. fine i'm exaggerating but it really is kinda too much for the people on the altar to look like that.
AND THEN i have to mention the missy elliot music?! may i emphasize, ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! last time it was jappy-esqe, and now you're trying to fit in with the times i see? like hip-hop sia, so cool man. gosh i feel embarrassed talking bout this too. the idea of being cool is fine, or at least trying to fit in with the times and showing that the church isnt a bunch of coo coos stuck in the past. but there are many better ways of doing that you know? ogay i'm not being impartial here because i personally feel that a church is a church, and the altar should be saved for things that have to do with GOD you know? that's why it's called an altar in the first place. trying to engage the non-christians with dancing is fine, but MISSY ELLIOT? i wonder if God has a particular liking for hip hop.
ok now that i have got everything i wanted to say off my chest, i feel better. christians, opinions?
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4:09 AM;
a few days ago i wanted to blog and i was preddy damn frustrated, so yeah that explains the rather exasperated tone? i wanted to publish it but then blogger came along and told me that there's something wrong with the server or watsoever. so i saved it in notepad, lame i know but i didnt want my ten minutes of typing to go to waste! so, here goes :
oh gawd, i feel terrible in every sense of the word. i shall echo yanibunny and say that 'i've been doing everything except studying' (i think it went something like that).
been really knackered for God knows what reasons, since it seems like i've not been doing much except eating, sleeping and watching tv. and today was like the worst day since the holidays started. i felt this nagging ennui in my body today and then it was like i couldn't do anything at all. hello, you know something's wrong when you cant even lie on the bed and stone. GOSSSSHHH I NEED A LIFE?
and you know the most pathetic thing was i couldn't even be bothered to get out of the house to get myself breakfast or lunch? so i waited till dinnertime when mom finally got me out of the house to have dinner. sheesh sometimes im amazed at my ability to jes let time slip through my fingers, right before my very eyes. seriously i think i can see it jes seeping away or something sigh.
need to get that ipod thingy so i can finally run without worrying that my ipod will drop out of my pocket. then i shall attend the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE which i am proud to say i have not partaken any of YET. there's nothing like retail theraphy you know, but hey i have limits ogay ;) and thennn i shall attempt to train my baby gabriel to sit and stay. timmy has to go for his medical check up soon and gabby's due for his second jab. so many things to doooooo. not to forget, mug too. i think i'll end up doing more peripheral stuff than mugging. such is the life of a cheryl.
so what can i say? this goes on for only another 5 months? and then it'll be g'day mate for me (i hope lar).
ogay, and so for today:
went to get a manicure yesterday to add some colour to my horribly insipid life. at least it wont feel so boring when all i stare at is paper and pens. tomorrow, i have a dinner party to attend and somehow i realised that my manicure is going to stick out like a sore thumb. i got nail art done lar, and now i bet i'll look like some AH LIAN at the party. whatever la not like i care what they think.
i'm determined not to step out of my house today, and at least do something vaguely decent. let me set this straight with myself, watching 3 dvds in less than a week is nothing close to productive. but you know i dont really regret it, because they were great movies. i know i know im like really behind time. i jes watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind TODAY ogay? hurhur no one wins me when it comes to being laggy.
AND CAN I GO ON ABOUT WHAT A WONDERFULLY ROMANTIC YET POIGNANT SHOW IT IS????? mymy i can't believed i missed out on this show for like more than a year? acccccks. and coincidentally i watched the constant garderner on monday, which also starred kate winslet. and damn i'm starting to like her acting. so vastly different in both shows, yet equally convincing. i like i likeeee.
oh and the truth about love is sad too. but it's kinda lame sometimes, its like love actually which happens to be my favourite show of all time. i'm such a sucker for romantic shows ughh. these are the times that i'm convinced i never wanna be a guy. i love being a girl for goodness sakes. i can cry at romantic movies and not get booed at. i get to have doors opened for me, driven around, and most of all, being the supposedly weaker sex can be a useful excuse most of the time >:D but then again, everything has a flipside doesn't it? :)
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1:10 AM;
Saturday, May 27, 2006
he he gabriel is like outstretched on the floor, flat, looking very much like a carpet. shoot i wish i had my cam now! UGHH but if i move he'll wake up. ho ho i am jes the luckiest girl on earth to have the cutest dog (next to timmy) ever.
one more day till geog trip! AND I HAVENT PACKED. HOWHOWHOWHOW. there're like a gazillion things i wanna bring but its for only three days sheesh. im not exactly high maintenance, im jes 'hard to maintain' >:D
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6:15 AM;
